that shit is wild true. i went to dinner at my ex’s gma’s house and met his aunt (who has two young, very handsome sons that i also met. one’s still in hs and the other is 19) and we got to talking about ‘kids these days’ as older black folk always tend to. so a few minutes into the conversation,…
If you were raped, it wasn’t your fault.
If you were hit, it wasn’t your fault.
If you were molested it wasn’t your fault.
If you were abused in any way, it wasn’t your fault.
I don’t care WHO abused you or WHY, it wasn’t your fault.
It wasn’t your fault.
As a dark brown woman, I never publicly engage in conversations about complexion and colorism (discrimination based on skin color) because they frustrate me so much. Yet I am often asked random questions…
"As a dark brown woman, I never publicly engage in conversations about complexion and colorism (discrimination based on skin color) because they frustrate me so much. Yet I am often asked random questions like:
'Didn’t you love the documentary Dark Girls?’ (No.) ‘Aren’t you sad that Pharell didn’t include a brown girl on his cover?’ (No, but his response sucked.) ‘Doesn’t Lupita finally make you feel beautiful?’ (She’s gorgeous but what?)
I just can’t win. Even Enlightened Black Folks often get the topic of colorism wrong. Why? Because they don’t understand what Chimamada Ngozi Adichie calls the ‘danger of a single story.’
Adichie used the phrase in a TED talk, arguing that we risk fundamentally misunderstanding a person or place when we rely on a single, popular narrative. That idea aptly applies to colorism and the one common story told about it which goes like this:
Black America has a problem: Dark girls have low self esteem because boys don’t find them attractive. To end colorism, men need to tell them that they’re beautiful. The end.
That story is not my story. It is also intellectually lazy, sexist and racist. So to help create a new one, here are five things you need to know….”
- Erica Williams Simon, “5 Things You Need to Know about Colorism”